"I stick the nozzle in and immediately get back in the car and close the door! "
C'mon, Gunny, I know you're letting your curmudgeonism get the best of you. It's neither safe nor, in many jurisdictions, legal, to do that.
The fire marshal in many jurisdictions will order the stations to remove the automatic trigger mechanism, and post stickers that illustrate the illegality of using a device such as a wallet or gas cap, to hold the trigger open.
I know you were probably being hyperbolic, and your distaste for gas pump "music" is understandable. But remember, the people who maintain "fool proof" gas pumps are the same ones who maintain all the other things out there that can kill you when you're not paying attention. Stand there, ignore the "music" get into a Zen moment, and get ready to run away when the nozzle malfunctions.
