Gentlemen, we have this same electrical requirement in modern pipe organ consoles where each stop key or knob has on and off solenoids built into it. A push button t will move the stop to the other position from what it currently is. Even if you manually move the stop, the logic senses what to do next time you press the button. The circuit boards (called “Reversibles”) (12v DC) are available. Check with your local pipe organ installer or service technician for sources.
I like it. Never thought of it, but I like it.