Hi all,
After spending another day stressing this, and remaining convinced I have a bad command base, I think I have discovered the problem: the house! The outlet seems to have an open ground, which I wouldn't have known since we are currently at my in-laws for quarantine. If I remember correctly this would skewer the signal?
Now the only problem is the whole room is setup with similar outlets, so I may need to wire in a new fixture or run an extension cord to a nearby bathroom with GFCI
Fingers crossed, I'm hoping to have results tonight!