PIRATE FLEET ENTERS SEA OF MUK!

International Law Experts Agree That Move is Legal!

With no warning from Lex Luthor, a small fleet of pirate ships entered the Sea of MUK today, sailing over the Sunken Valley Railroad without incident. Atlantis, which claims the seafloor under the Sea of MUK, made no response.

Because the entire world regards this as international waters, and because these pirate ships have never attacked anyone, there is legally nothing that anyone can do. Attempts to contact the ships by radio were unsuccessful.

Several hours after entering, the fleet was still slowly sailing in circles without incident.

 

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US NAVY SAILS THROUGH SEA OF MUK!

Pirates Scramble Out of the Way of Heavily-armed Warships!

Under international law, smaller ships must change course in favor of larger ships, and larger ships may open fire if they do not. Lex Luthor's fleet of pirate ships quickly yielded to US demands to get out of the way of large American warships, which were able to photograph and study the weaponry on the pirate vessels.

Analysts agreed that the US took a calculated risk--and got away with it. If Luthor had attacked the American vessels, the US would have entered the war on Atlantis' side, destroying every pirate ship they could find. The Navy is not disclosing what it learned from radar and sonar scans of the region, but it appears that Luthor is not capable of launching major attacks on surface vessels, as was previously feared...at least, not yet.

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ISRAELI FRIGATE DOCKS AT SODOR ISLAND!

"New Horizons" Provides Atlantis With Advanced Warning System!

The lightly-armed Israeli Frigate New Horizons, which was involved in sinking various pirate ships during the Battle of Mid Day, docked today at its former station on Sodor Island. Workers were seen loading supplies onto the ship.

Not designed for major combat, the frigate carries enough advanced radar systems to make a surprise attack on Atlantis impossible. By sending its reconnaissance helicopter to different areas, the ship vastly extends its surveillance area.

Military analysts agreed that yesterday's voyage through the Sea of MUK by the US Navy had found that at this time, Lex Luthor is not able to attack surface vessels near Atlantis.

 

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An enraged Lex Luthor rampaged helplessly through his lair. The US Navy had outsmarted him, sending  huge amounts of scanning signals through the Sea of MUK, successfully shielding Israel's radar frigate from detection until it was too late. Lex's plan to attack Atlantis by surprise had been set back indefinitely--he needed a larger, more powerful fleet to launch a classic attack. His plan to rapidly seize Atlantis and a series of island nations would have allowed him to seize Iran's oil afterwards. Then he would have built advanced weaponry that would have forced the entire Arab world into his control. And then he would have forced Israel, with its advanced technology, to serve him.

As he often did, the Joker broke into loud laughter when he heard the news.  "I may be insane," he exclaimed, "but I'm not crazy enough to tangle with Israel!"

 

LEX LUTHOR KNOWN TO POSSESS TWO SUBMARINES!

The US Navy revealed today that their vessels had detected two submarines in the Sea of MUK three days ago.

The larger one is an advanced research/construction vessel that was legally purchased on the open market. The smaller one appears to be armed with an unidentified weapon. Atlantis, which has no navy, reports that the subs are remaining north of MUK but are inside an area claimed by Sunken Valley Railroad.

 

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JOKER RESIGNS AS IRANIAN AMBASSADOR TO UN!

In his letter of resignation, which was released to the media, the Joker explained that having diplomatic immunity had removed the challenges that made his life worth living.

"Without Batman," he explained, "crime has no punchline!"

 

LEX LUTHOR LAUNCHES NEW PIRATE SHIP!

With the successful launch of another pirate ship, the criminal genius may have provided analysts with too much information.

The sturdy, well-made wooden ship only boasts two small cannon. The ship's construction shows that Luthor has enough high-quality lumber to warrant extensive carpentry facilities; but not enough metal to make powerful weapons.

And analysts were quick to point out that the ship is too small to possess advanced sonar, leaving it vulnerable to underwater attacks. In addition, it does not possess depth charges.

Fast and maneuverable, it will make an excellent scout ship. But since the only surface objects in the Sea of MUK are heavily-fortified islands, there is little for the ship to scout. And, being made of wood, it will be easily sunk if it approaches those islands.

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The Iranian official on the phone couldn't stop praising Lex's ingenuity. Actually, Lex thought it was the only intelligent part of the conversation.

Exactly as the scientist had promised Iran, the Joker had used his diplomatic immunity to strengthen his crime organization, along with strengthening Iran's intelligence network. And then, as Luthor had promised he would, the Joker quit before he had provoked a war.

And the part that Lex hadn't told them about? The world's overburdened super-heroes and intelligence networks were so overwhelmed with the Joker's activities that they hadn't been able to stop Lex from purchasing valuable equipment that Luthor wasn't able to manufacture himself.

Because Lex Luthor was building a weapon...

LEX LUTHOR ADDS ANOTHER PIRATE SHIP TO HIS FLEET!

Sixteen-gun Warship is Nearly as Big as His Largest Ship!

With eight wooden sailing ships in the northern part of the Sea of MUK, the criminal scientist appears to be assembling a fleet large enough to attack the fortress and two islands east of him. Military analysts have pointed out that Luthor's fleet has more guns, but the Atlanteans' surface forces have more powerful ones. At this time, analysts believe, Luthor is not even close to having enough firepower to win.

 

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Lex grunted his agreement with the analysts' report, relieved that they hadn't figured out the truth--- a frontal attack with nothing but wooden ships would probably end in disaster. The parts he had ordered for his secret weapon had not arrived today, and it appeared that they never would. He would still build the weapon, but it would now  be inferior to what he needed.

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Meanwhile, Atlantis has been continuing construction of its military colony. I spent 45 minutes assembling the two small fortifications shown below. The bizarre digging device has been hard at work. And although I can't get a good photograph of it, the 1997 Burger King flatcar, with a guy leaning against a treasure chest, was well worth the fifty cents I paid for it.

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SUNP0003          It was a simple idea that had turned brilliant. Lex Luthor had built a pre-WW1 German scout plane. He substituted a remote control for the pilot, built a tiny motor, added a small fuel tank, and attached a highly-advanced telescopic camera to the bottom.  Since the slow-moving biplane couldn't reach a high altitude, Lex painted it red and only approached Atlantis at sunrise or sunset, keeping the drone between Atlantis and the sun.

The photos kept Lex up-to-date on Atlantean above-water construction. But there were problems getting it to a landing area without being seen, and the delay before Lex could actually see the photos was a problem.

So the scientific genius had decided to build an aircraft carrier. But he had to order certain parts, and the parts had never arrived. So, he had to fall back to his back-up plan...

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LUTHOR LAUNCHES AIRCRAFT CARRIER!

Deranged Scientist Gains Air Control With Obsolete Ships!

Satellite photos reveal that Lex Luthor has constructed a pre-WW2 aircraft carrier, accompanied by a tender vessel. The carrier holds two catapult-launched biplanes. The tender supports a crane for lifting the planes out of the water and returning them to the carrier. The tender also carries a hot air balloon.

Despite the obsolescence of the equipment, Navy analysts glumly predicted that a surprise attack on Luthor's pirate fleet is now almost impossible. And although so obsolete that no nation's military uses them today, the hot air balloon will also provide warning of an underwater attack.

 

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images          So brilliant was the mind of Lex Luthor that he realized he was having a nightmare and woke himself up. And he knew what the nightmare meant--he had a deep-seated fear that Superman was only toying with him.

Decades ago (These comic book characters are ageless), Luthor had tried to bring world peace by launching an unprovoked war on Atlantis. And he would have won if that muscle-bound alien hadn't stopped him. He COULD beat Aquaman. And Superman knew it. So why wasn't the Man of Steel doing anything to stop him?

"Because he's to busy elsewhere," Lex muttered to himself.

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He couldn't find an empty phone booth, because it was the day Bill Mazeroski hit the home run to beat the Yankees.  All Gotham City was on the phone calling their bookies to whine!  Of course we Pirates fans were overjoyed!! 

Mark Boyce posted:

He couldn't find an empty phone booth, because it was the day Bill Mazeroski hit the home run to beat the Yankees.  All Gotham City was on the phone calling their bookies to whine!  Of course we Pirates fans were overjoyed!! 

Where do you guys come up with this stuff? Can you do something with Bill Buckner in Chicago? Ahh, forgetit, nobody could do anything with him...

George 

 

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