The Lone Ranger release (After the 2014 Razzies)

A review by a well known western movie historian and author, Bill Magers.

With a truly objective state of mind I went to see Gore Verbinski’s “Lone Ranger”—and came out objecting to nearly everything. This is a bloated terrible film by any standard! Viewing this 150 minute incoherent dumb and dumber train wreck is a mocking travesty to the LR legend. First of all, the film alternates between trying to be a serious western for a few minutes here and there but immediately slams you back into Roadrunner/Wile E. Coyote/3 Stooges cartoonish lowbrow comedy carnage which includes Silver who appears as a ridiculous hat-wearing eccentric spirit horse, a crimson haired madam in a football field sized house of ill repute whose ivory-scrimshawed false leg contains a double barreled shotgun, oversized carnivorous rabbits, a cross dressing badman amongst other idiot henchmen led by uglier than sin boss Butch Cavendish (I must admit William Fichtner’s killer Cavendish is the best character in the film even though at one point he eats Dan Reid’s heart). Armie Hammer’s effete Lone Ranger verges on slapstick as straight man to Johnny Depp’s relentless mugging. To see these two legendary heroes framed by the William Tell Overture against vistas made famous by the likes of John Ford brings on a certain nostalgic swell until its continually and jarringly slam dunked back into over-the-top cartoonish shenanigans. The Lone Ranger actually utters the modern day over-used catch phrase, “Let’s do this!” Was that necessary? Was this film necessary? If you revere the Lone Ranger mythos of Brace Beemer, Lee Powell, Bob Livingston, Clayton Moore, John Hart—even Klinton Spilsbury—Hi Yo your Silver as far away from this idiotic abomination as possible.

Thanks Charlie. After reading that review, I now know that I am going to enjoy this film immensely. 

And he didn't even mention the trains! 

Me too.

Allan wrote,

"Just back from seeing "Man of Steel."  Would have been better off staying home and playing trains.  Really good movies are hard to come by these days, that's for sure. "

I couldn't agree more! The movie should have been titled, "Demolition - The Video Game On The Big Screen", as that is what it was.

I was a Lone Ranger fan and believe to have read every comic book available of the same. But just as I couldn't swallow a pirate with the looks of Depp, when I first saw the Lone Ranger preview months ago, Depp as Tonto just ruined it for me. I guess I'll have the popcorn at home while watching Netflix.

Alex

Sure are a lot of Depp haters on this Forum.

An actor is only as good as the movie he's in.

Rusty

I'll wait until it comes out on DVD which judging from the reviews I've seen, will probably be next week.

You can bet I'll follow that sage advice!

Actually, I saw enough of the various trailers in recent months to know that this absolutely/definitely wasn't a film that will get my money in any form, even on DVD.  Takes more than train wrecks to make a good movie, but I guess you could say this entire film is likely destined to become a giant train wreck in more ways than one.  

Sorry, Charlie,

I'm not a fan of professional movie critics, historians, or authors who tend to impose their views.  My wife and I have tickets for the 10 o'clock show and I'm not discouraged.  We are just going to enjoy it for what it is.  Matt

Matt

I was just passing it along for information.

I plan to see the Lone ranger movie, despite all the negatives I have read.

The movie critics I paid attention to are long deceased.  I respected their opinions cuz they had earned that respect.  Many critics now are just overpaid hacks.  That said, this movie is getting reviews very much like the one posted above.  That said, Ima gonna see it anyway and enjoy it for what it is.  As Al Hitchcock once said, "It's only a movie".

Good for you!!! Too many haters in the world. I never pay attention to 'pro' movie reviews. They get much more coverage the more negative the review.....media never hunts out a happy story....drama powers media of all types today......that's THE driving force behind FaceSpace, Twit etc etc. Drama (more the negative the better) is KING!

Go have fun!

I wouldn't say that critics are necessarily haters...far from it in most instances.  The respected ones generally have a good bit of background in their respective fields.

I never pay much attention to film or other critics, and prefer to make my own determination of how "good" a film might be.  I'll willingly share my views, but don't expect others to necessarily agree with them.  That's perfectly fine as far as I am concerned.

For example, I liked the latest James Bond film and didn't like the latest Superman.  I'm sure there are others out there with the opposite opinion.  I'll avoid the Lone Ranger film based on the snippets I have seen.  Those segments were enough for me to know the film doesn't/won't meet my expectations about being reasonably faithful to the Lone Ranger stories (and image) I choose to remember from my youth.

Most likely this film will turn out like the Thomas and the Magic Railroad film that came out 13 years ago. A critical flop and didn't do well enough at the box office, despite many famous actors (Alec Baldwin, Peter Fonda and Mara Wilson). But even after all that, Thomas fans, at least quite a bit, still find some things to like about it.

Movies are meant to entertain us. As each of us has our own interests and expectations of what is entertaining it comes down to a personal choice.

The movie makers tend to make movies based on what they believe the majority of audiences want to see. Right now every movie maker tries to out do the other with their special effects. If you like action and computer generated special effects than you'll probably be entertained.

The producers are taking a big chance on a movie like the Lone Ranger as so many of us grew up watching the Lone Ranger on TV and have formed our own opinions of this character. However for younger audiences, their target market, this will be the first time they will have an opportunity to create an impression of the Lone Ranger and Tonto.

My wife and I will go to see the movies next week as we just want to be entertained for a couple of hours.

Steve Tapper 

When it comes to many things, including movies, the only thing that matters [for you] is how much you enjoy [or hate] the movie.

 And like someone mentioned previously, the only true rating for the industry is how well it did at the box office.

Has movie that did terrible at the  box office ever won an Academy Award for best picture?

Maybe as Sherman or Peabody... some of you will like Johnny better.

http://dreamworks.wikia.com/wi..._Peabody_%26_Sherman

Rick

I use IMDB.com which collects ratings from the general public and breaks them down by age group.  After several thousand people rate the picture you have a good idea if it is worth seeing.  The lone Ranger has a rating of 6.5 out of 10 which is not great.  People 45 and over gave it a 5.6.  I'll pass

I really liked the first Pirates/Carribean.   I'm not a fan of Johnny Depp and I kept thinking how great that movie would have been if they could have brought Robert Shaw back from the dead to star in it.   He was the prototype pirate from "Swashbuckler" a few years ago.   

I'm sure the younger folks liked the off beat/gay/sissy acting character Depp played.  Being an older guy, I like my pirates in the vain of Errol Flynn or Tyrone Power.  I also realize movie studios do not gear their efforts to people of my generation.  

We always watch for movies to see, but the pickings are slim for us older folks. 

Just seeing promos for "Ranger" and the bird Depp wears on his head was enough for us to lose interest in it.    I am so happy to have a great collection of 30-50 year old movies to watch.