The Most Interesting Man in The Train World

All the Timetables are set to when he wants to depart or arrive.

 

He doesn't lay track, track lays down for him. (that sounds more like a Chuck Norris saying)

 

His train is never late.

 

When his train runs, all others take the siding.

765 makes a smoke ring with his profile

 

His steam locomotives use Pierrier water

 

His steam locomotives burn coal made from diamonds in a secret process he designed

 

He looks better in white than Phoebe Snow

 

His layout wiring puts municipal power grids to shame

 

Rich Melvin, Allan Miller, Ed Boyle and Jim Barrett deliver each issue of OGR personally

 

 

When he retires to bed each evening, Rich is there to personally read him to sleep with the latest OGR run.

Ed,

 

  I heard that was Veranda Turbine.

He looks an awful lot like Mike Caruso's avatar; could they perchance be related?

His layout makes Roadside America look small.

 

He is often asked by Mother Nature to give lectures on how to weather buildings and rolling stock.

 

He can communicate with his command base without a remote.

 

 

No one shall make Roadside look anything but revered and awesome. ;-)

Couplers recouple themselves out of respect...

 

Smoke units put out double volume and whisper quiet so as not to disturb the mood...

 

He can control all Legacy, TMCC, DCS, and DCC just by the look of an eye...

He insists on three rails on his scenic steam train route. Just because it's cool.

His All Aboard modules are 1 to 1 scale.

 

His transformers ARE the power grid.

Barry Broskowitz reads his book to learn how to fully utilize the features of DCS .

 

Of course his scenic train route circumnavigates the Andes, then winds it's way north, passing over the Rio Grande at some point and crossing the Santa Fe close to Albuquerque, pulling power from a middle rail powered by wind turbines along the way.

His Alcos make fart bubbles...

 

FANTASTIC

 

He reads (well, he probably doesn't read, he probably simply absorbs) the Forum more than Allan does.

 

His trains NEVER derail.

 

Gerry

Mark

This thread is ingenious!!!...

 

His DCS controllers adjust at the mere touch of his hand.

 

His layout built itself.

 

He has several inventory spreadsheets for each road name

 

He doesn't buy trains often but when he does he buys MTH

Steve

His traction tires never come off.

 

He never needs to refill the smoke.

 

His engines do not dare to make the track dirty.

 

His switches always throw the right way, even without him hitting the button

 

Gomez Addams tried to wreck his trains, but got scared.

 

The York arrows change direction for whichever way he wants to go.

 

He can run the entire NJ High Railers Layout by himself, while reading the latest OGR Magazine

 

ah Ha ... my turn... my turn!

 

He can open and repair a steam engine with a wink and a smile

 

He does not believe in using tweezers or magnifying glasses

 

He is Left handed an Right handed

 

He never has to clean an airbrush

 

Turnouts automatically change direction for him in only the right path

 

He pays catalog price plus tip!

 

His smoke fluid smells like cologne

 

His railroad stories carry weight that would break an old "rail hands" jaw.

 

If at first his scenery is not perfect than it is impossible to make.

 

If He gave you modeling directions you would be equal Norm C's layout

 

If He was seen running a Pink Engine it would look masculine

 

At every Railroad in the world there is a engine named after him

 

 

The Railroad Police question him just because they find him interesting

 

When He buys a new Lionel Engine it increases its value

 

 

Stay Thirsty My Friends!