How to convince wife to let me...

Guys, I am sorry but the lot of you have got it all wrong, which is why you are probably in the doghouse most of the time.....

 

The key is turn the trains off and really romance her, by doing chores or taking her out to a play or the movies or out to dinner once in a while or for three or 4 successive nights.....Use your imagination....Here's a novel idea take her out for a walk and just talk and hold hands...expecting nothing...Sometimes the trains can wait! She already knows what you want, problem is she can't compete with your imagination, fascinate her with what you are doing, eventually she will help you!

 

I'll tell you what mine has done for me she helped me store my trains when they got out of hand she went and bought me fancy display cases (2 of them)she buys me trains all the time not sets odd cars, she got me a Lionel clock that hangs on the basement wall, she gets me Christmas ornaments that are smaller than HO and don't actually run.

 

Figure out what really pleases her and do it without being asked, with all this attention suddenly being lavished on her she will ask you what you want, then you can tell her. By this time you will be in the habit of actually dating her again. Bingo she gets what she wants and you get what you want.

 

Guys, this goes for all of us we need to spend a little less time in our man caves and more time as husbands and partners.

 

 

Mike

Mike, you're a very smart man!

Do what you want and let the chips fall where they may. Besides who is in charge here?

 

But don't blame me if your sleeping on the couch!!!!!!

TO BE SINGLE AGAIN, "OOPS!, I FORGOT", I AM SINGLE.  

 

Go to this website www.earlswynn.hubpages.com/hub/101-reasons-to-stay-single  It's a list of 101 reasons to stay single.  Reason 102 would be, NO ONE TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR TRAINS.   Killian

 

VETERANS HOME - NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

POW/MIA YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN 

Oops. Forgot about WNN -- Wives News Network. We figure there's an underground communications network that always lets our wives know what we're up to before we tell them. We simply can't believe we're not clever enough to put one over on them.

I really don't like to give advice in matters of this nature. But if you decide to go ahead with this expansion remember this one thing, "bob and weave".

 

Milwrd

 

Not really advice, just my two cents like everyone else here.

 

I have to agree with some of the comments already posted about getting your wife involved, but it sounds like a bit more work needs to done before that happens.

 

My wife has been involved with me in this hobby since the beginning.  When i started with my HO layout she helped with the benchwork, scenery and structures. She said that building the stuff was fun and she could use her creative side.  That got torn down when we needed more space for storage as WE tend to accumulate a lot of crap!

 

When I added an N scale layout to the top of my desk, she picked out the structures and figures that she wanted for her sections of the layout.

 

Then along came O.....Wow did she take to this!  We didn't have the room for a permanent layout, so I started out just laying some Fastrack around our dining room.  Then she suggesed picking up more track and expanding it to run through our living room.  When I started thinking out loud on how to change it up a bit to make room for a staging area, she suggested I get more track and use the hallway.

 

Now she is giving up her craft room in the basement so I can put together a permanent layout.  The room is 9 x 12, much smaller than our living room/dining room/hallway floor, but it's a Room!

 

I can't go to our LHS without her, and when we leave there she has quite a bit of her own stuff to load in the car.  The Polar Express with two of the add-on cars, the pink Girlie train and several add-on cars, 4 of the Polar Railroad freight cars (she's eyeballing a Legacy GP7 to have our LHS guy repaint it for her to pull them), the DeWitt Clinton Heritage Series set, and her most recent purchase....the Lionel R30 Transit set with the two add-on cars cuz "the opening doors are cool.".

 

All this to say that when I see something I really want, there isn't too much resistance.

 

We've been married 19 years this past Monday.  We both work full time, so we earn together and we spend together.

 

Get her involved!

 

If you can't do that, then listen to Marty and put your big boy pants on.

Hi "MrMO" That is a beautiful story. A family that plays together stays together.

 

Nothing wrong with a 9 X 12 layout. You both can pack alot of fun in that much real estate. Have Fun!

When she tried to limit my basement space, (small disagreement)  I threatened to build my train barn separate from the house.  She knew I would and didn't want me to "move out".  Darn, I need more room.

 

Dan

On another more serious note, you could go with modules that could be added and taken down depending on the season.  We know someone who that works for. 

Most women shudder at the thought of cutting thru drywall, even thou we know how to easily repaired latter (years ago when finishing the upstairs, I put my foot thru the ceiling and had it repaired so fast it wasn't seen by anyone but her).  This gives creed to what ever I want to do.

I also let her completely design the basement bathroom, I already have her trained to limit the flowers and lace.  You have to give some to get a little.

Dan

For reference, listen to "The Man Song".

Dan, if you had built the barn you'd still need more room.  

I have to agree with John & Mike. The one question keeps coming to mind. Just how much time are you spending with your trains? If you're working on your layout more than you're talking with your wife. You're the cause of the problem. If there's packages arriving most everyday addressed to you containing trains...........( I'll let you fill in the blanks).

I let my wife read this thread. Her one ane only comment, "I bet he's spending more time with his trains than his wife". That's coming from a woman who's married to a train "addict". Years ago I started giving my wife my complete attention at least two days a week. The rest of the week belonged to my layout. I even hired a gardener to take care of the yard. As I stated earlier, "It's just a matter of compromise". 

Ok everyone thank you for the advice

 

As I do spend a lot of time with my trains, it is not because I do not spend it with my wife.  We work oposite schedules and I really only spend the days down there when she is working and the kids are napping for a few hours or after they go to bed.   When we are both home I spend very little time down with them.

 

As for the staging yard, I have decided to stick with my original plan and yes build it into the 2nd bedroom but I am able to make it go through the french doors onto a very easily removable temporary module.  No holes in the drywall.

 

We are heading on a family vacation tonight and it will be something i talk over with her, away fromt he trains for a week.

 

Good Luck! Hope all goes well! Keep us posted!

 Becareful !!!!! You will pay for it in the Bedroom

Gandalf97 is obviously familiar with the "Rules of Model Railroading"

 

1. If your layout cannot accommodate all of your trains, you don't have too many trains; you have insufficient layout. Expand it!
2. If your layout is too big for your house, your layout isn't too big; your house is too small. Expand it!
3. If you're currently satisfied with the new train building in the back yard, you have underestimated the growth of your layout and train collection. Expand it!
4. If UP views your railroad as a threat. Congratulations!