Why do some wives hate our trains?

Interesting subject. I know that in my case I have this great hobby that I really enjoy and she has NO hobbies. I think she is a bit jealous but she says no. The funny part is that the trains are brought up on occasions when there is a new purchase and it always comes down to the fact that when she makes a purchase I never say anything and she agrees. Hate them maybe or maybe not. But I will keep going with the trains because honestly they were with me when I met her. Then again in 1987 she bought me a new locomotive and told me to build a layout and the rest is history.

I don’t think they realize what they’ve let out of the barn when they tell us to get a hobby!😳😳😳😳

I don’t think it’s necessarily the trains. Some people, husband or wife, just don’t like seeing the other happy or enjoying themselves unless it’s all about them or what they like.

My wife has always liked our trains and attending train shows. She was responsible for purchasing the most expensive set I own. She expects there to be trains under tree as much as I do. She maintains my computerized train inventory data base. When we have events at our home most of the other wives also seem to like the trains, of course it is not their husband that owns them.

When the decision was made to have a custom layout professionally built my wife was a participant in that decision. She carefully reviewed all the invoices and paid all the bills. She also made a trip to Miami to visit the shop during construction. I consider myself fortunate that my wife accepts and appreciates my toy train hobby.

Well maybe I will jump in on this. Like I said in the other thread my wife will burn all my trains when I die and I am sure that will probably happen ,but this is because I put a lot of time and hard earned money into my hobby . And for her that’s nuts and trains are for kids in her mind. That’s not her fault though it’s the way she was brought up in a house hold of hard working mom and dad with no hobbies and working every waking hour of their lives. So when she sees me and the way I grew up with a grandfather and father and uncle all with train layouts she sees this as lazy and a waste of time. She doesn’t come down on me about it to hard but there are time that there could be a comment that I could be doing something else around the house because as we all know your house always has something to be done grass cut, painting ext. . So I will say this I do what I want but at the same time a happy wife happy life.

My wife isn't into the hobby but she supports me in it and enjoys socializing with my friends who enjoy the hobby.

- Greg

When we drool over a GG1, etc and not them. There is your answer.😄

After a couple years of marriage, my wife told me to get a hobby.  I think I went with trains because they reminded me of home and my youth.  My wife sews.   She is on her 3rd embroidery machine.   Over the years, I’m sure she’s dropped well over 20k on the machines alone.  They have minimal value after a couple years.  She knows I’m tight.  Therefore I don’t, and won’t, have a lot invested.   I build a layout, work on it a year or do, destroy it, sell everything, and do something else.   So nothing I do is permanent.  I recently sold off  almost all my o gauge and bought a little ho.  As time goes on, I have less and less money tied up in trains.  It doesn’t mean I’m not having fun.

Wow, I know you are serious about this thread but I can’t imagine any wife telling her husband that they hate what brings so much enjoyment to them. I would say they have a marriage loaded with deep problems that need to be addressed.

@romiller49 posted:

Wow, I know you are serious about this thread but I can’t imagine any wife telling her husband that they hate what brings so much enjoyment to them. I would say they have a marriage loaded with deep problems that need to be addressed.

My thoughts exactly.

Not been my experience,

I don’t know about that I have been married 26 years and those years have been great. Sure every relationship has ups and downs but as for the trains she doesn’t have to like my hobbies she just has to put up with them.

@chinatrain99 posted:

I recently sold off  almost all my o gauge and bought a little ho.

I can't believe you actually admitted as much publically.  The Feds should soon be breaking down your door.  Shame on you! Women are people too!

-Greg

My spouse was pretty supportive of my hobby. I have met more than a few who were not . Most of these meetings were after the husband had passed and the spouse, children or both were coming into the shop to sell the collection. I don’t some people realize how much they neglect their family while pursuing this hobby and the strong negative feelings that causes

My Darling Wife drug me into the hobby by insisting we have a train around the Christmas tree.  I never had that as a kid.

Then when we had Kids, she told me to go to Allentown with her brother and buy trains for the kids and build them a layout.

It's been a fun time.

We used to have a local hobby shop in town.  Good ole Mr. Wagner made sure every spouse got a big giant chocolate bar for Christmas.

He used to say, your husband is not out at the bar with the guys and not chasing other women.  He's in the basement playing trains.

I'm blessed and hope others with spouces not as supportive can improve their situations.

Have Fun.

Ron

i'm still single and looking so i don't have this issue yet with a wife or gf.

but i want to know why my PARENTS hate my trains

yes my trains are a special interest along with NERF guns and Shailene Woodley and my parents hate trains and i was never allowed access at home.

Then i had a teacher who knew about autism and said taking away my trains and Nerf stuff was wrong and inhumane

she and another teacher tried to help me build a small HO layout in her room until my dad found out and told the principal to shut down all my train access

than my parents called me a baby because i had a train at school

and yet my dad was a nascar fan and spider man fan had spiderman decals all over his truck and my stepmom has a cabnet full of Santa dolls

and my whole family was against my special interests and i was like the black sheep of the family

i still have trauma from when my dad destroyed a 1500 dollar locomotive i got for christmas in 2007 from a friend

i'm always afraid its gonna happen again

My wife is very supportive of my interest in trains. Convinced me to do a "hand on the throttle" at Essex CT, goes with me to Strasburg, on the Silver Star to vist my relatives in FL and even enjoys helping at the table at swapmeets.

I think its part of a strong caring relationship we have--she's a treasure.

I think you can substitute golf, hunting, fishing, travel, etc for "trains" in this thread.  The aspects of a marriage relationship are a little more complicated than liking or disliking a hobby.

My wife is not into trains, but she helped me load, setup and sell at train and computer shows for years. 

Try to enjoy what you have while you are on the earth.

If your wife likes your trains or is at least neutral you are a very lucky person.  The entire four years my EX and I were dating she at least pretended that she liked the trains. She went to TCA meets with me and one of my train buddies and his wife. We would usually go to Atlanta meets at least a day before the meet and go out on the town.  Within a year of our marriage she refused to go to train meets with my long time friends Bill and his wife Agnes.  Bill and I never made our TCA trips only about trains we always went shopping with the girls and mostly let the girls set the agenda outside the train show.  I eventually stopped going to TCA meets though I still played with the trains with our daughter who to the chagrin of my wife loved the trains.  In November of 84 I traded some guns for a large American Flyer collection. I was unloading my third load when the wife came to the deck on the rear of the house and said.  Either the trains go or I go. We split up in Jan of 85.  In hind sight I think she felt I should be spending the train money on her or our home though the trains never took money out of our budget they in fact made a little money.            j