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Um,  . . . do you guys know what the "Bonfire of the Vanities" was?


During the religious revival in Renaissance Italy, the Priests decided that the rich were all going to Hades, and told them that they only way they could save their souls and go to Heaven was to bring out all of their "Vanities" (meaning their very expensive collections of books, paintings, sculptures, artwork, and other treasures), throw them in a pile in the street, and burn them in a big bonfire.   

The rich got caught up in a frenzy, and came out in droves to do this in the city streets.   Night after night, week after week, the piles got bigger and the the fires burned higher!  Thousands of priceless manuscripts, paintings, sculptures and other historical records were lost forever.

I sense that many of you feel guilty or conflicted at having collected so many trains, for so much money, for so long a time.

Perhaps it is time to save your souls!     :-)

@Mannyrock posted:

1.  Sell all trains.

2.  Use money to divorce wife.

3.  Start buying new trains.

I knew a guy who did that. He left his wife (and became estranged from his two kids) because he valued his hobbies more than anything else.

After a few years, he then understood the titanic mistake he'd made, far too late to correct it. He was then too old to start over and the last 20 years or so of his life, he said nothing made him happy anymore and was just waiting for the end to come. I heard from a mutual friend a couple years ago he passed away and the last time anyone saw him, he said he was looking forward to the end of his life. he apparently died alone, his kids long ago saying they wanted nothing to do with him.

Even his hobbies that he'd dumped everything for gave him no joy as he'd pushed everything out of his life for that.

It's a lesson I never forgot and it always comes up when threads like this pop up.

@Mannyrock posted:

Um,  . . . do you guys know what the "Bonfire of the Vanities" was?


During the religious revival in Renaissance Italy, the Priests decided that the rich were all going to Hades, and told them that they only way they could save their souls and go to Heaven was to bring out all of their "Vanities" (meaning their very expensive collections of books, paintings, sculptures, artwork, and other treasures), throw them in a pile in the street, and burn them in a big bonfire.   

The rich got caught up in a frenzy, and came out in droves to do this in the city streets.   Night after night, week after week, the piles got bigger and the the fires burned higher!  Thousands of priceless manuscripts, paintings, sculptures and other historical records were lost forever.

I sense that many of you feel guilty or conflicted at having collected so many trains, for so much money, for so long a time.

Perhaps it is time to save your souls!     :-)

No guilt here! Come to think of it, I might buy a few more locomotives this evening.

Anthony

I don't mean to be a Debby Downer, but over the years I have wondered about the tired old theme that always has the guilty husband hiding the purchases, or lying to the wife, or any number of other "jokes" about the difference between the sexes when it comes to train collecting. Sometime these "jokes" get a little tiresome. I think that there is a cartoon in this month's MR that covers this subject, yet again, even after all these decades of being told that it's not that funny anymore. One doesn't have to be a liberal, or a feminist, or any other political label, to cringe when this subject comes up.

If you aren't honest with your spouse, who will you be honest with?

When it gets to joking about divorce, I feel personally that a line is crossed.  I was brought up in a "broken home" as they used to be called.  Trust me, there was nothing funny about a nasty divorce, the lack of one parent, the living hand-to-mouth, or its effects on a kid.

@RichardVB posted:

That's why the wife kept asking why I designed the house with 6' wide hallways.................     

I never was good at math Paul: "Simple math... Too Many Trains = Enough Trains + 1 and a nodder, and a nodder and a nodder.................... "

I love it!  Luckily, I'm only eyeing HO locomotives currently.  So that means more locomotives in less space!

If you aren't honest with your spouse, who will you be honest with?

My wife has always encouraged my obsessions, whatever they have been,  I've been through cars, a couple of boats, a significant gun collection, and a massive train collection.  I have never had to hide anything from her.  I also don't go bar hopping, gambling, or spent the bread money on hobbies.  She also likes the fact that she can be pretty sure where to find me.

"My wife has always encouraged my obsessions, whatever they have been, I've been through cars, a couple of boats, a significant gun collection, and a massive train collection.  I have never had to hide anything from her.  I also don't go bar hopping, gambling, or spent the bread money on hobbies.  She also likes the fact that she can be pretty sure where to find me." GRJ

That's what I meant to say.  (Except the boats. Living on an island, strangely enough, I have never owned one, but allow other people to invite me aboard theirs.) Substitute "many large military trucks" for boats.

Last edited by Arthur P. Bloom

My wife was in the basement last weekend and said..." I think you have enough trains, what am i going to do with them when you're dead!"

To which I said, "well I'm not dead yet"

Since I'm still able to type with my thumbs I guess I need more trains.

Seriously tho, she has come to tolerate my addiction.

Do I need more? No. Do any of us? Probably not. But I will keep buying.

Bob

Last edited by RSJB18


That's what I meant to say.  (Except the boats. Living on an island, strangely enough, I have never owned one, but allow other people to invite me aboard theirs.) Substitute "many large military trucks for boats."

A boat is a hole in the water into which you throw money. 🤣🤣

I've lived on Long Island for all of my almost 60 years. Love boats, fishing, the water, etc. Own a boat? NEVER!

Last edited by RSJB18

I can't figure out this word people keep using. What is "wife"?

I don't have one of those, so no problems there. I DO have lots and lots of books (I used to have lots of pulp magazines, but sold those off) and I, my trains, and the books all share my 1-bedroom apartment.

One wall of the living room is mostly bookcases, up to the 11-foot ceiling:

Bookcases1

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I can't figure out this word people keep using. What is "wife"?

I don't have one of those, so no problems there. I DO have lots and lots of books (I used to have lots of pulp magazines, but sold those off) and I, my trains, and the books all share my 1-bedroom apartment.

One wall of the living room is mostly bookcases, up to the 11-foot ceiling:

I said that exact question in a thread about "wives" a few months back.  Totally went over everyone's head.  FYI: My books are bigger than yours.

I don't mean to be a Debby Downer, but over the years I have wondered about the tired old theme that always has the guilty husband hiding the purchases, or lying to the wife, or any number of other "jokes" about the difference between the sexes when it comes to train collecting.

If you aren't honest with your spouse, who will you be honest with?

All stereotypes have some basis in reality. The wife telling the husband what he can and can't do is so common in real life, that explains those cartoons and jokes.

I couldn't count the men I've known over the years who were huge into a hobby only to vanish from it about 6-12 months after their wedding, selling off their stuff, never to be seen again by their friends. Women, to a great degree, seem to not 'get' the drive men have for their hobbies.

I'd seen it so many times that I was fully prepared for it. Sure enough, 6 months into my marriage, my wife tried this with me. Like a kid testing their limits, she all but declared I needed to stop my hobbies (which was mostly historical reenacting at the time, as I was out of model trains in that timeframe). "You need to think about what's really important," was the catch phrase she used.

I told her I was open to compromise, but this was who I was, something she knew well before we married (the second and third times she ever saw me, I was wearing historical uniforms and I was an Army LT at the time) and that if she couldn't cope with that, then she didn't marry me for who I was. I told HER that she was the one who had some thinking to do. I then walked out of the room and didn't come back for a while.

She never brought it up again, other than the times we actually did compromise.

But as for model trains, I do all this mostly from home and I don't buy a great deal. It's back and forth like any marriage is and generally she is accepting of the hobby. It probably helps that I don't bring in stacks of new rolling stock in boxes each time I come home.

She does have an uncanny ability to tell what's really important to me, though. She even told me to go ahead and pull the trigger on one of the locos now on my layout.

But had I not stood up for myself over 21 years ago, she'd today be happy as a clam with me having NOTHING the brings me joy in life. I'm quite certain about that.

Last edited by p51
@KOOLjock1 posted:

I’m starting to lean in the Marie Kondo direction.  Does this train still bring me joy?  If not, I should clear it out.

Jon

I started leaning that way too Jon. 🤔

I had a Railking Pennsy 4-6-2 that I had been reworking because of a mystery traction issue on a curved incline section .         I pulled out the Railking B&O model which I haven't run much lately but is an excellent puller on the same section of track.       I was trying to see what made the difference .

As I  sat looking at the B&O engine in the light on my table.......I realized why I bought that engine .........it was a pretty handsome thing.   Does this thing " still bring me joy " ?          Yeah, looking at it ,it does.

So right now I've slowed down .    I realized that part of the fun for me in this hobby though ,is finding another work of rolling art to add to my roster......when money and timing permit.

Be safe..... have fun.

When you start storing trains on the couch and/or bed, you have too many, and you have other problems as well.   

When my sweetie asks where I'm going to put more trains, I get a tape measure and make a show of measuring her side of the bed - she says that I'm measuring the wrong side.  Fortunately, she has a sense of humor.

I seriously pity anyone who is in a relationship with someone who demeans or ridicules their hobby.

I suggest for those who have this problem, to encourage your wife to take up a hobby she can be passionate about.

In my case, a few years ago my wife returned to her roots and took up acting. She participates in an acting class, virtual now, every Tuesday night. The acting class is not cheap, but it brings out her joie de vive, and I not only strongly encourage it, I tell her I regard it as a necessity.

My marriage of 45 years has never been better.

Last weekend, I spent a substantial sum of money at the Big E. Came home, showed her my acquisitions, all of which she said are beautiful, so much so that one of them (a model schooner) she suggested be put on top of our piano in the living room. That is where it will remain.

The key is to figure out a way to make hobbies and the spending of discretionary income a 2 way street.

Another example is what Jerry Moritz shared a while ago on the Forum. Jerry mentioned that when he brings home a new addition to his train collection, his wife goes shopping for jewelry.

Happy wife, happy life. Arnold

@RSJB18 posted:

A boat is a hole in the water into which you throw money. 🤣🤣

I've lived on Long Island for all of my almost 60 years. Love boats, fishing, the water, etc. Own a boat? NEVER!

You think a boat is bad, you should see one of my other hobbies!  With an airplane, you don't throw the money, that's not fast enough.  You pour it in!

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If you really want to spend some serious money.....

Inboard_ProStock_PS-555-FullViewPlus travel, blown motors, crashed hulls...broken bodies...

Years ago in 1994 after I had retired from boat racing,   I first went to my first 0 scale swap meet.  As I went to buy my first engine,   A caring person came over to me to warn me that this particular model has a bad engine.  With decades of racing behind me I froze in my tracks. I asked "How much are the motors?"  His response was  "Those things can run upwards of $25".  I broke up in laughter and paid for the loco.  It is all relative...

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