Why are so many so angry?

Why are so many so angry? 

Maybe because most are anonymous & they can be angry without loosing their job or relationship.   Not fired, not disciplined and not sued for separation or divorce.  

What would you say if you could and no one would know your name and address?

Low restrainst reveals character.  Worse case senario here is to be banned from OGR, then using somebody else's computer and address, try to rejoin.

Angry forumites may also be angry employees, angry spouses, angry neighbors, angry customers, angry fellow affinity group members.    Basicly lonely miserable  people.  I learned to avoid angry folks, too much drama.

Recently I had an angry person bite me as I was trying not to take a job from him.  Ducked that bullet but It grazed me. tt

It's kind of funny really, because right before I sat down at the computer I was thinking to myself  'this hobby is mostly a lot of fun interspersed with short periods of intense disappointment'.  And I'm talking about frying a $12 relay.  I can only imagine how freaked out I'd be if I was buying $1200 locomotives and one went on the fritz!  

Well, I have to go to work tomorrow and unfortunately my job does not have a darn thing to do with trains, I will not get into details but very few people would call it fun by any stretch but someone has to do it and it pays great so I can buy all the broken out of the box chinese junk I want. I must like it because I keep on buying it.

the vino and cheese are gone along with the cherries and I need to get some rest for the work ahead.

I love my trains but they are not my fix to make it all better only time and the love of a good women and children make it better.

And there are times when I like to yell out the window" I am made as **** and I am not going to take it anymore"  My doctor tells me that is a good thing, he never told me to go play with my trains.

The trains help me get through the tuff days and the family and God helps me with the rest,  and when all else fails there is always this. 

This thread has been quite interesting. However, let us put things in perspective here: every day a hundred or more innocent women and children are slaughterd in Syria. Berfore that, it was Libya.

In Nigeria, the Muslims are killing Christians right in their churches simply because of their faith. Then the Christians retaliate. And it goes on forever.

Our toy trains are a source of enjoyment, discussion here on the forum (and other places) and, occasionally frustration. Nothing more.

As Stephen Stills said in a song on his 1970 album,
"We are not helpless, we are men;

what comes between us can be set

aside and ended."

I think of those lyrics a lot these days. We have the power to make things right. We always have.

Trains, love them, hate them... but life does close in on everyone, once in a while and there is nothing we can do to fix a situation sometimes. 

Could be worse:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5zELTa9Ris&feature=related

I could use $5000. Our basement got flooded during the night last week due to a leaking pipe from the upstairs bathroom sink. The 5K that we used to renovate it, is gone, not to mention upcoming cleaning costs. I looked at my loved one and said, it could be worse. At least we are all right and have each other.

Prairie

This is a very popular thread.

I agree with the poster on the first page - when a post goes off the rails, ignore it and continue to enjoy trains.  Or Merlot.  Or a pipe, if you still smoke, I guess.

The startling thing, for me, is how popular threads get when they either go off the rails, or, like this one, discuss the tendency to leave the tracks.  I would ask not why we are so angry, but rather why wouldn't we prefer to discuss trains?

Such a thread of interest!! Kudos to Nicole to start this. A view most likely shared by many, but maybe too scared to start a thread like this! ANGER: a simple and complex emotion. The joy of a hobby can bring on stress and anger?? Harry Doyle and Robert John Davis see the light!! The trains are to be an escape, the forum is also to be an escape, with human interaction. Sometimes there is sadness here but most times its a comedy and a lot of great information! Marty E: I'll stand beside you: Besides from the "burg", I threw 29 years away in a divorce. Anger? About model trains??? Yinz don"t know anger! If you can spend $20 or more on toy trains, what about the family who doesn't have $20 for food. Thank your collective lucky stars that you can afford a hobby!!

Allan, I am so with you! I'll add to the positive attitude, I have a wonderful family, from wife to Grand-kids, and all enjoy this hobby. I am having a glass of wine to toast to your health! Scoal!

Jack

Not interesting enough.

The train and layout discussion are the steak, but the infighting, bickering and backhanded snarkiness are the sizzle. I am absolutely convinced many people will spend a small amount of time on any forum discussing the hobby itself, but they will engage in a keyboard battle for hours because it is more interesting/tantalizing/heated/invigorating - take your pick.

Allan,

I am also with you 100%. I spent all afternoon finally unpacking my purchases from York,the "bay" and the forum for the last several months. It's like **** 1964 all over. I'm having a wonderful time! We have never had it so good in this wonderful hobby of ours! York is around the corner!! Woo hoo!!

Ricky

well guys this is no different then the 3 R/C boats website I belong in,,theres bickering on those sites too..to many butt holes that have attudes that they think they know everything..and if somebody does something wrong god for bid you get the hammer thrown at you..I race Nitro and GAS boats in the summer and play with my trains in the winter and build race boats too..Trains are my first love and boats are my second love in the hobby ...but when you race and meet most of the guys,there great people and if your having proublems/breakdowns at the races they will help you out..proubley the same with you guys..id been out of trains since 97 from my devorce..so im just getting back in to O scale and to know these trains site and you guys..hey life is short and this is a hobby to help one another and to have fun and a great time with one another...so why dont we try to get along?

Nicole,

You are absolutely right. This is a great hobby which allows me to connect to my childhood and all the great memories of my past. I treasure that.

Cliff

That is SO true... which is even more a reason why our hobbies SHOULD be an escape from all the stressful nonsense of life.  And this said by one of the folks who unfortunately got caught up in some of the less-than-pleasant exchanges over in the Berk whistle-steam-effect thread -- despite the fact that I don't even own the darn thing!!!  

But I think we see this type of behavior everywhere we look these days.  Although I don't watch too much TV on a regular basis anymore, what little I have seen from time to time seems to emphasize all the things people DON'T do well together.  Whether it's reality TV  talk shows in general, or an entire afternoon's worth of court TV shows (Judge Judy, Judge Alex, Judge Joe, Divorce Court, The Peoples Court... did I leave any out???), it's all about people disagreeing about something.  The two times I watched Celebrity Apprentice last season, I couldn't believe how uncooperative players on the same team were in their attempt to get the task done.  I'm thinking, "If this is how it REALLY is in Corporate America today, I'm glad I left it several years ago."  And to think this is what today's generation of kids grows up watching (i.e., like it's OK to not get along with folks you're working with at your job)... it's no wonder we encounter some of the attitudes we do here online as well.  Should we really be THAT surprised?

David

I have a co-worker who is perpetually worked up about everything and everybody. Anybody gets mentioned, she has something negative to say about them.  Finally I pulled her aside and said "hey, I'm not saying you're wrong on any particular count with the things you say about people, but it just seems to me that none of it affects you personally; still it seems that everybody gets your blood pressure up.  Don't you think you'd be happier if you just didn't worry about what everybody else is doing?"  Now she hates me.  Oh well.  I tried.

I think that anger in regards to my hobby is paramount to ruining my life. I have been in and out of the hospital the last 6 months and laid up on the couch for months at a time.   I have a business that struggles is always teetering between success and failure.  I have a great spouse who had her job cut to half time after being told she was secure, because a new boss came in and decided she could do her job in half the time because she is just so proficient at her job. My wife supports and listens to me talk about my hobby because it is the one true escape I have that allows me to realistically dream about about what I will do with it.

I shake my head at the manufacturers and work to resolve the issues I have.  I try to be helpful on the forum and introduce topics that generate discussion that will involve as many people as possible.  I think that if we strived to discuss what is possible that we can improve and build on, and strive to help everyone instead of complain, we will have a lot more fun on here.  Ok I have said my Kumbaya piece and will go back to dreaming of smoke and cinders and long lines of hoppers filled with black diamonds.

As I approach 1,000 miles on the bike this summer, I can't help but think that as I watch the world go by with out my participation as it use to be, just may be I'm not doing the right thing. I may not of been a pleasent person, but a lot of things got done and done right. Intensity is not all that bad. IMO. 

One of those shocking on the farm stories when I was a teenager. Father was having trouble with a cow one morning and split a 2"X4" over it's head.  The cow went down, I thought it was dead. It got back up again.  He said, "you know these are good cows, sometimes you just have to get their attention".

Mike

I agree with Tom Tee above.  The ability to be anonymous brings out the worst in people.  If you want to vent, there are plenty of other blog sites on the internet.  I for one, do not want to see it on the OGR Forum.

My trains are a pleasent diversion from the stress of everyday life.  Even if I don't run them all the time, I enjoy going into my train room and just looking at my collection, which I feel I am very fortunate to have and to be able to afford.

We O gaugers have never had it so good.   Relax and enjoy your trains!  

That is certainly a valid observation.  If a person can't find happiness with what has been made available to us in recent years and earlier, he or she will never be happy in this hobby.

Not every opportunity to be anonymous is automatically bad.  I realize that it sounds cliche, but it depends what you do with it.  A secret ballot lets you vote your conscience without fear of reprisal and helps keep elections honest.

What bothers me about saying that a choice - like being anonymous - is a bad thing is that it starts a mindset that having choices (freedoms) is a bad thing because some people make bad choices or misuse their freedoms.  So it leads to people thinking the only way to deal with "the problem" is to take away the choice.  Maybe that is what a parent does with a young child but if you want your kid to grow up to be a responsible person, it becomes about giving them consequences for their choices and not taking them away.  I think it should be more like that in society.  Make people face the consequences of their choices instead of taking everyone's choices away.  OK.  I'll get off the soap box now...

Others have said it, but it is overwhelmingly, IMO, the number one factor in the prevalence of anger in little social communities like this....it's just too easy to hide behind the glass monitor in front of you and send your rants and bile to everyone out there with out facing any immediate feedback or consequences.  Try this:  those of you who like to rain on other people's parades, belittle their modeling efforts or criticize whatever joy they have found in the hobby lately...first week in October, send out a searing rant against somebody or something.  The next week, come to York's Thursday at Friday's gathering.  Get the attention of everyone at your table.  Stand up and point to each one and say something to the effect of "You're all a bunch of bleeping morons."  It's a little different, isn't it!  

The world is far from perfect.  In fact, there are a lot of real problems in this country right now.  But to drag that into the world of trains...I just don't understand.  This stuff is fun. It's escapism.

That said, you want "Hobby Rage?"  Okay, I'm PO'd that I can't afford all the engines in this picture.  And that I can't decide which one or two I WILL order when the time comes!!!!  

- Mike

The world is far from perfect.  In fact, there are a lot of real problems in this country right now.  But to drag that into the world of trains...I just don't understand.  This stuff is fun. It's escapism.

That said, you want "Hobby Rage?"  Okay, I'm PO'd that I can't afford all the engines in this picture.  And that I can't decide which one or two I WILL order when the time comes!!!!  - Mike

I see your point Mike, I will find the money to get about five of them that I must have, I wish they make dummies then I buy at least half powered and half dummies, if they dont I will buy them on the bay or somewhere at another time. I hope the lion comes up with some dummies, they would get a big order from me.

Why are so many so angry?

Are you kiddin'?  Stateside it's an election year.  Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber are taking angry rhetoric to the next level, bombarding citizens with terribly hostile sound bites.  Monkey see, monkey do.

I learned long time ago, from baseball great Satchel Paige, that getting angry is like taking poison.  Unless you want to commit suicide what's the point?

Pete

I don't get angry. I just get even.

Allan:

Have you guys given any thought to opening an office in Mesa AZ. We have a lot to offer especially during July-Sept. Temperatures at 110, humidity at 80-90% with evening thunder storms or dust storms. What more can a company ask for!

Joe

Oh yea forgot to mention - pack plenty of iced tea. 

>>Why are so many so angry?

Folks become angry for a 1001 reasons. I believe the word you're looking for in this thread is "frustrated"

I can  think of only "ONE" reason why that's the case with so many folks on this forum..

Joe

"I have a co-worker who is perpetually worked up about everything and everybody. Anybody gets mentioned, she has something negative to say about them.  Finally I pulled her aside and said "hey, I'm not saying you're wrong on any particular count with the things you say about people, but it just seems to me that none of it affects you personally; still it seems that everybody gets your blood pressure up.  Don't you think you'd be happier if you just didn't worry about what everybody else is doing?"  Now she hates me.  Oh well.  I tried."

Yep, been there done that! I did the same thing and she spent the rest of the time I worked there telling anyone who would listen that I was the bad guy. Never cross a woman! LOL!

Anrgy?  Guess I haven't been reading the right threads!

Seriously though, I only read some of the threads, especially in Summer, when my main hobby shifts from model trains to my little sailboat, and that forum comes alive.

To me, hobbies are a way to relax and escape from the stresses of everyday life.  I think that the vast majority of folks on these hobby related forums feel the same way.  Since I'm free to ready whatever I wish, I learned a long time ago to just ignore the negative threads and/or posts. 

Jim

Well, there is something I have discivered.

Each December i go to Galveston TX for the Galveston Historical Foundation's "Dickens on the Strand".  Think Ren Fair, but moved to the period 1812-1870.  (Time C dickens lived.)

If you really get into the thing, you try to come in period dress.  Once you have that, you try to act as if you were in the time period.

If you ever read books on manors and customs, it makes learning TMCC/L, DCS or DCC look SIMPLE.  Back then, one mistake in addressing a person made you like a er, idiot.

Now look at today.  People can't even say "Yes Judge," or the like on Judge Judy.  Try driving in Houston TX.  People have NO RESPECT for each other; hence NO MANORS.  Seems everybody is like Daffy Duck when he says, "ME, Me, Me....." or "Mine, Mine....."

This stuff went WAY OVERBOARD in the Victorian era.  But children is seems have not been taught this over a few decades, because it lowers their "self esteem".  But it actually has lead to ZERO RESPECT for everybody, and if they do not get their way, get angry.

Anger is human.  But manners kept one from behaving as badly as one wanted.

Hey you all,  I'm moving to OH to live the good life!

Come join us in the Rustbelt!  Life definitely is good here!

There is a great book that made it to the NY Times best seller list a few years ago. The title  "Playing With Trains" by Sam Posey. A must read for anyone in the hobby.

Trains are Zen for me--a break from from the rush of life--without them, the men in the white coats would be at my door. A broken loco for me is the price for the pleasure of doing the hobby---so what. Fix it and enjoy.

People, thanks for the comments and insights.

It is truly fascinating in a way, the psychology of buying trains, building layouts, the different interests...  what are we looking for- what is it we seek?  Everyone is different, and everyone changes too.  Upping the ante to $ 1200 locomotives, dough that quite frankly could be used for something else, (vacation with wife for example), makes the experience a bit more acute, more intense maybe, because if the loco is a dud, you (I would) may have immediate buyer's remorse and feel a tad guilty as well, that you spent that much on something that ultimately disappoints.  Then the disappointment shifts to anger at the supplier to compensate for the buyer's remorse factor.  

The first session is free, after that it's 25 cents an hour.

BTW- I thought the haikus were the sizzle here...

The anger is structural: growing up we were told the next generation will do better than the last generation. You no longer hear that.  Advertising: "Progress is our most important product" was the slogan of a company that paid no income taxes last year.  You could interpret World War II as a victory, but what we really did was bomb, destroy and rebuild the Japanese and German/European economies, improving them (our competitors) : so that today our own infrastructure is obsolete, because it hasn't been touched for (in may cases) over 100 years. Our society appears to be declining in morals, language, manners, and government. Money isn't what it used to be: so it's not worth saving for anything; The list can go on and on. There has been a seismic shift the last several decades and some of us who remember what used to be may be challenged to adjust; hence the anger. Also, misery wants company.

But one thing hasn't changed for me: I still run my trains.

Mark

Dave,

Well said.  I tell myself to leave my troubles outside the door when I enter my room here at the Veterans Home.  This coming Thursday I'll have been pain free for 2 months from ARTHRITIS for the first time in 23 years.  I've had severe arthritis in 9 different parts of my body and it was getting to be more than I could handle.  The reason I no longer have any pain is because of God's love.  I never thought to ask God for his help, but he loves us all.  We just need to trust that God will help us and he will.   Killian  

Begin sarcasm: 

There seem to be a lot of angry people on my layout.  The entire township was spent into bankruptcy by the former mayor and town council and property taxes are now going up 80%.  There are potholes in the street and they damage the cars.  The traffic lights are out of sync and it takes 15 minutes just to drive 1 scale mile.  The drive-in theater is closed and the young folks watch movies on their cell phone.  And the cell phone coverage is spotty with lots of dropped calls.  The railroad employees are threatening to strike and there is a parts shortage at the engine repair shop.  On top of that the local homeowners want to implement a whistle free zone at all crossing but don’t want to contribute to upgrading the crossing systems.  The local foamers no longer can stand on the station platform photographing trains due to security concerns. 

End sarcasm:

The bottom line is you have to be happy with yourself in order to express happiness.  There seems to be so much in real life that adds to the distractions and builds stress.  Every other commercial is about getting the newest cell phone, anti-depressants, anti-depressant supplements, and erectile dysfunction pills.  The list is endless…

For those that have experienced a life changing event (like a nasty divorce) and have lost many things that were important to them, it’s almost like starting over again.  I find myself trying to appreciate the little things that I have left and make lemonade out of lemons.  It’s not easy but it can be done…..One tip:  Pay cash for everything….works for me……Hope others can find a way to take a breath and step back and appreciate what they do have….

OK- NOW I'M really angry.  My daughter just informed me that her gay male friend is coming over and they are sleeping downstairs tonight and I cannot run trains tomorrow morning.  That stinks.  I've got freight to move, commerce to do.  But then again, why get angry really?   Who knows?, he may have a flair for dispatching...

You are TOLD that? In your house? By a child?  Saying that her overnight male friend is gay?  Riiiight!!

Consider changing the locks.

And they're sleeping together downstairs?  

Don't forget the 0430 operating session!